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The funny thing is, I should replace that * with an “o” instead of the “i” that you were expecting.  But let me take it back a little bit.  This weekend was my friend Nik’s bachelor party.  We headed to Barrie, Ontario to get in some golfing and do some drinking.  Mission accomplished on both fronts!  The golfing was cool because this was the first time I used a cart that had the built in GPS.  So, as long as you park your cart reasonably close to your ball, you get a pretty good idea of the yardage to the green.  It also warns you of certain hazards and shows you the carry distance you need on some holes.  Cool stuff!  Too bad I suck donkey balls at golf.  My drives were right on this day and I was hitting my some pretty tight spots.  The problem was that my approaches and putting were absolute crap.  Oh well - the key was that we had a great time and drank some beers.  At night we went out and got pretty drunk.  Nothing new there, to any of the regular readers of this blog.  The funniest part of the whole weekend had to be on the ride home.  3 of us in the car were chatting away when I interrupted the conversation in order to point out a sign.  The sign apparently made mention to this being the exit for “Dock in a Box”!!!  Seriously?  DOCK in a Box.  That is waaaaay too close to Dick in a Box not to be made fun of.  At first I thought this was a hangover day dream, a mirage that my childish mind created.  Sure enough, we passed the legitimate business named Dock in a Box later.  Now, it appears this is actually a good company with a good product….but…still….the name…

I just can’t get over the name!  Would your friends ever take me seriously if I was sending emails as mike@dockinabox.com?  Probably not!  In case you live under a rock and don’t understand why this is so funny….

Ahhh, you know the feeling well.  You wake up in the morning feeling rough.  You struggle to open your eyes, already fully aware of how badly your head is hurting.  You realize that you don’t even remember going to bed…wait…where did I fall asleep?!  You got hammered.  Once you finally deal with the physical aspects of your situation you need to do some damage control.  Uh oh…did you call anyone?  Did you text anyone?  FUCK!  why do you bring your phone with you when you drink?!  Texts From Last Night is an awesome site that captures those texts that we all know we shouldn’t send.  At the time, they seemed like a great idea.  I definitely suggest you check TextsFromLastNight out regularly.  Maybe it will encourage you to use some discretion with your phone when you are drunk….but…it probably wont.  Here are some samples from today:

well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor…not good

Dude… Hand job in the lake… It was as weird as it sounds.

I don’t know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse… this can not be good

When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

It has been about 3 weeks since I moved into Toronto from my old suburb life in Mississauga.  Other than the geographical changes, I have made plenty of other life changes.  The first thing is about my car.  I just don’t use it!  I go to hockey once and week and I go and visit my folks once on the weekend.  That’s it.  Otherwise, it stays parked.  I have my monthly Metro Pass for the TTC and I take the bus, streetcar or train everywhere!  It is so much cheaper than paying for gas!  This allows me to be a little more “random” with my plans.  I can tie one on and go hard at the bar and not have to worry about my car being parked in a lot or having to take a taxi out of the city.  That leads to my another change - I am going out a lot more!  The funny thing is, I am spending less money.  I think this has to do with the fact that I can have people over for drinks and we can head to a bar at any time we want.  We don’t have to think about getting into the city - we are already here!  It also doesn’t take long to get home, so I don’t NEED to buy food when I am out.  Although…that still happens sometimes.  Another change that is good for me is that I am eating MUCH healthier - including a lot more fruits and veggies.  I have to give some credit to my roomy on this one.  It is much easier to cook for two people.  I am lazy when just preparing meals for myself.  Having someone else in the house to eat the food allows us to prepare proper side dishes.  It also encourages us to make some healthy choices for our meals.  Although, our nacho binge couldn’t have been considered healthy.  The last change, but the largest change for me has been the morning workouts!  Yes, something for the last decade I have been against - claiming it went against every fiber in my body.  I was wrong.  With a shorter commute I found myself waking up way too early.  I don’t sleep too much anyways, so if I wake up two hours before I need to leave for work then I might as well do something.  A 5 minute walk to the gym has me making use of that time.  I have to admit that I absolutely love it.  It is so nice to not have to worry about working out interrupting my evening plans.  On top of this, there are some side benefits.  Here is some information from AskMen.com on the benefits of the morning workout…

burn more fat

Enough fluff already. I know that all you really care about is whether morning training will help you shed pounds quicker. The answer is “yes,” morning training has been proven efficient for weight loss.

The reason is simple: Training in the morning will help “jump-start” your metabolism and keep it elevated for up to 24 hours, thus burning more calories throughout the day.

Again, don’t expect miracles. Training in the morning alone won’t make you thin overnight. You’ll need to carry out a good training routine, maintain a healthy, low-fat diet, and acquire good sleeping habits.

More specifically, the key to losing weight is to carry out a cardiovascular routine first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. If you’re feeling a little weak, sip a small cup of black coffee or a glass of orange juice. It will help you get started.

say good-bye, blubber

Now, here’s why cardio training in the morning is a great way to blast fat:

Your levels of muscle and liver glycogen (also called stored carbohydrates) are normally very low when you wake up first thing in the morning. With depleted glycogen and lower blood sugar, you’ll give your body the perfect environment to burn fat instead of carbohydrates.

Carbohydrates or glycogen are your body’s primary and preferred source of energy. When they’re low, your body will tap into your secondary energy reserve, which is your body fat. The idea here is similar to when the engine taps into the car’s reserve tank because it’s low on fuel.

Obviously, your body is way more complex than your car’s gas tank. It always burns up a combination of carbohydrates and fat. However, the less carbohydrates you have, the more fat your body will burn.

Hello all.  I feel like I need to apologize pretty much every post!  Why?  Because the quantity of my posting has decreased to ridiculous proportions.  I am hoping to turn that around starting today.  The problem is that I have had pretty much a million things going on every single day.  Work has kept me insanely busy, both day and night.  I have just settled into my new place in Toronto and I finally have everything setup properly.  I won’t lie - I have also been spending much time just going out and enjoying my new location!  One of the best parts about being down here is not having to drive.  When I lived just outside the city, I pretty much accepted having to drive to accomplish anything from going out with friends to renting movies.  Now, I accomplish all of that by either walking or by taking public transit.  There is a bus that runs right by my house about every 5 minutes.  It takes about 8 minutes to get to the train station.  From there, I can get anywhere.  On top of that there are also two streetcar lines for me to take.  So many options!  So, I hope to increase my blogging schedule now that I have cleared some things off my plate.  You are my people.  I need you in my life!  Here is a comic that has nothing to do with anything - but it does contain a joke I often use.

I recently installed a ceiling fan in the bedroom of my new place.  The townhouse has the bedrooms at the top floor and with 4 million degree heat in Toronto, the air conditioner needs a little help to circulate the air.  I realized that I am using old technology.  Dyson, that brilliant dude that brought us the bag-less vacuum has something that is a game changer…

It isn’t a fan.  It’s an air multiplier.  This thing is tits!  It doesn’t have blades that push the air towards you.  Products from Dyson are crazy expensive.  They are also crazy awesome.  This company is becoming the Apple of household products.  Check out the two videos below.  One shows how this thing works.  The other actually shows it working, they set up a course that shoots a balloon from one unit to the other.  Really cool!

And now…

Old Spice used to have a crappy rep amongst young people.  Look at the name…it says it’s old!  Not exactly trendy.  You aren’t running out to buy an Oldsmobile are you?  I didn’t think so.  I guess they realized that they were working against a bad image written right into their name.  How do you deal with that?  By coming out with some of the most awesome commercials ever made!  By now you all must have seen these things.  What is amazing is that they have worked perfectly.  When I see Old Spice in the aisles I don’t think about something my dad would use.  I think about those wicked ads and how cool they are.  I guess advertising works!

You may not have seen the above video before.  A lot of people aren’t aware that they actually went with this idea a short while back. This didn’t get quite as much play, but was just as awesome.  The below is the video that everyone knows about.  Well done Old Spice for having the balls to allow your advertising company to run with this idea!

Holy crap it has been a whirlwind moving experience.  I am FINALLY all setup in my new home.  As anyone who has moved knows, the process never really ends.  I still have a million little things to buy…IKEA to the rescue!  I promise to get some pics or a video up as soon as possible.  I still have my camera at the other house.  Today is not about doing work though.  This is Canada’s birthday.  This is a day to chill out on the rooftop patio, drink some beers and spend some time with friends.  That is a benefit of having a roommate, you always have a drinking buddy!  I might even have some time to relax with some video games today.  On that note, here is some interesting information about that famous video game character: Mario!

Via: Homeowners Insurance

OK, I’m an ass for not blogging much lately.  The truth - I haven’t really been doing much!  I have been working about 65 hours a week.  Other than that, I am prepping for a move on Monday.  A buddy bought a townhouse in Toronto and I figured I would move in.  It’s an amazing place and the neighborhood is awesome.  I will have moving day pics or maybe even a video coming on Monday or Tuesday.  Thanks for your patience.  To reward you - here is a comic.

So, after working a solid chunk of the weekend I took some time for myself today.  I watched the Transformers movie.  No, not the recent ones that you are probably thinking about.  I am talking about the old school animated version.  The REAL version.  Here is one of the greatest scenes of any move of all time.  This is what made Optimus Prime so awesome.  He wasn’t a bumbling robot tripping on shit in someones back yard trying to hide from their parents.  He was a stand up, bad ass who whooped the crap out of bad guys…and even showed mercy.

By the way, that song - Stan Bush singing Touch. That song would have been forgotten by now if it wasn’t the anthem for Optimus Prime kicking Megatron’s ass. Here is the video…

Once again, I have to apologize for not blogging in a while.  I have been so busy with work that I have barely had any personal time.  That will wind down at the end of next week though.  Just in time for me to move!  A buddy bought a place downtown and I decided to move in with him.  I will give you some pics on that once I move.  It is very exciting!

To make up for my lack of posting I bring you a website that will change your life.  I mean, this is some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen in my life.  The site is DontEvenReply.com and it is just some dude who replies to ads with asshole-ish responses.  I cried when I was reading these they are so funny!  Here is one of the top rated replies…