So, I invited some friends over to my place this weekend.  My buddy Kevin couldn’t make it - he is taking his son to the zoo.  That is a great reason to decline my invite.  What makes this whole thing blog-worthy is the response I got from Kevin.  Here is him comparing 1 year old Ben to me…

Can’t Mike, taking Ben to the zoo as part of his b-day week.  Listen to this, its hilarious, we can only give him like a gift or two at a time, cause he wont stop playing with whatever he gets and if you try and take it away he gets too pissed to care about whatever else you might give him, so this is gonna take awhile.

But think about it.  Imagine if you went out for Mike’s birthday and tried to take away his beers to give him other alcoholic drinks instead, he’d probably kill you.  Mike is in a lot of ways like a 1 year old I am realizing.  He doesn’t care about anyone else’s schedule, he drinks mostly from a bottle, prefers not to wear pants, unwilling to compromise, likes shinny things….it’s amazing the similarity.

later.

First thing…I need new friends.  These ones know me too well.  2nd, this is awesome and hilarious.  It actually made me laugh out loud while reading this on my Blackberry.  Here is a pic of me and Ben earlier this year.  Another thing we have in common: both ridiculously good looking

This is something that is getting so much play it’s insane.  This is an actual news report of a woman who was attacked in her own bed.  She fought off the intruder with the assistance of her brother who was in the apartment with her.  The insane part about this is the amount of personality Antoine, brother of the victim, shows while on camera.

I mean, it’s a horrible situation and thank god the attacker wasn’t able to complete what he started. The thing is, Antoine becomes the focus of this whole thing. As a result, some remixes have been created that are actually pretty freakin’ good! This is selling like crazy on iTunes!!! Check it out…

God bless autotune.

We all know I am horrible at actually getting around to showing proof of the things I do.  I have claimed to be involved in a couple of weddings recently.  How do you know I am telling the truth?  Actually, how do you know anything about me?  I could be a middle aged white woman for all you know.  I am not.  Here is proof I actually do the things I say I do.  If you go to THIS SITE you will see some of the proffesional shots of my friends wedding.  This was cool because there was both a Hindu and western ceremony.  These shots turned out amazing.  It’s really cool to see the different outfits that everyone wore, especially the featured couple!  I strongly urge you to check out the Elementz of Fotographie blog and post some comments.  I have selfish reasons for asking you to do this.  The bride and groom get some free prints if you comment.  Take a look at all the shots, especially the ones with me in them, and let them know what you think!  C’mon, I provide you minutes of entertainment each month.  YOU OWE ME!!!  You can play a OneBrownGuy.com version of Where’s Waldo and see if you can find me in the pics.  Try it - fun for the whole family.

Before I get into an explanation about that title, I will recap you on what has been going on.  Last Thursday was the final regular season game for my summer hockey team.  We lost by one goal to a team we should have easily beat.  This will go down as my worst season in the stats department since I was a kid - and back then my job was to hit people and block shots.  I am at the point of contemplating retirement.  The game isn’t one that I can thrive in now.  I am 32 years old and I spend my time getting my ass kicked in front of the other teams net.  That would be fine if I was getting paid to do it, but I am the one paying.  I got hauled down this last week before I ever touched the puck and strained an abdominal muscle.  Not fun.  Oh well, time will tell what happens in that department!  I was the MC at a wedding on Friday night and had an amazing time.  This wedding was just a perfect night and I was thrilled to be a part of another couples big day!  I stopped taking any form of sleeping pills as some new prescription put my head through the spin-cycle…and didn’t make me sleep!  Going back to the old pills didn’t seem to react well at first either, so I dropped the idea completely.  On Saturday night I slept for a solid 10 hours!  Same on Sunday night.  By no means do I expect that to continue, but it was nice to get caught up on some rest.  It’s amazing how great the world looks when you aren’t seeing it through the haze of insomnia.  I did wake up last night with a song in my head.  This song was from back when I was in high school and I would say it was popular for a very short while.  I really didn’t have anything to connect me to this song at the time, other than it helped me realize how much I enjoyed tragedy.  The crazy thing is that I haven’t thought about this song once since I was in school.  Now, 15 years later, I have the song stuck in my head after a dream that I can’t remember.  Funny the things that are lurking in the back of your mind!  In case you need a refresher, here is the song…

Well, there goes my whole goal to be a better blogger.  I have neglected you for over week.  I have to say I am sorry.  Unfortunately, I just haven’t been well and when that happens I just have no desire to really talk (or write) to anyone.  It’s not all bad news though - something kept me busy that was awesome!  My friend Nik, who I have known 31 of the 32 years of my life, got married last weekend!!!  It was an amazing time and I was lucky enough to be a groomsman for this event.  The bride and groom really made life easy on us by having things planned out pretty well…and by having plenty of food and booze around for us.  Being a groomsman is tough when you have a date.  Thankfully I have nobody at that level in my world so I took my roommate.  He played along by wearing his kilt!  It certainly made the first “couples” dance interesting!  If that wasn’t gay enough, I also had to kiss a dude.  That’s right.  Not just a peck.  A full on kiss.  This was the result of one of the rules for the reception.  In order to get the bride and groom to kiss, you have to plant one on somebody and then they will follow suit.  The MC for the evening, another close friend, seized this opportunity.  With everyone watching him, assuming he would go kiss his girlfriend, he walked across the head table stage and gave me a solid snog!  Oh yeah.  Hey, at least I got some action!  So, it was an amazing event.  I don’t want to throw up any pictures to protect the privacy of my friends.  Besides, I hear it can cost millions to get exclusive photo publishing rights for weddings.  Since then I have just been laying low, trying to get better.  I have been slowly recovering which is probably why I am writing this post!  Good sign I guess.  Today is going to be a day to catch up on some work and relax.  I plan to watch a movie with a friend and get to bed at a reasonable hour.  Why?  Tomorrow I am going to BeerFest in Toronto - which is right near my house!  I expect my Sunday to be a little messy.  As is tradition, here is a comic that has nothing to do about anything.

The funny thing is, I should replace that * with an “o” instead of the “i” that you were expecting.  But let me take it back a little bit.  This weekend was my friend Nik’s bachelor party.  We headed to Barrie, Ontario to get in some golfing and do some drinking.  Mission accomplished on both fronts!  The golfing was cool because this was the first time I used a cart that had the built in GPS.  So, as long as you park your cart reasonably close to your ball, you get a pretty good idea of the yardage to the green.  It also warns you of certain hazards and shows you the carry distance you need on some holes.  Cool stuff!  Too bad I suck donkey balls at golf.  My drives were right on this day and I was hitting my some pretty tight spots.  The problem was that my approaches and putting were absolute crap.  Oh well - the key was that we had a great time and drank some beers.  At night we went out and got pretty drunk.  Nothing new there, to any of the regular readers of this blog.  The funniest part of the whole weekend had to be on the ride home.  3 of us in the car were chatting away when I interrupted the conversation in order to point out a sign.  The sign apparently made mention to this being the exit for “Dock in a Box”!!!  Seriously?  DOCK in a Box.  That is waaaaay too close to Dick in a Box not to be made fun of.  At first I thought this was a hangover day dream, a mirage that my childish mind created.  Sure enough, we passed the legitimate business named Dock in a Box later.  Now, it appears this is actually a good company with a good product….but…still….the name…

I just can’t get over the name!  Would your friends ever take me seriously if I was sending emails as mike@dockinabox.com?  Probably not!  In case you live under a rock and don’t understand why this is so funny….

Ahhh, you know the feeling well.  You wake up in the morning feeling rough.  You struggle to open your eyes, already fully aware of how badly your head is hurting.  You realize that you don’t even remember going to bed…wait…where did I fall asleep?!  You got hammered.  Once you finally deal with the physical aspects of your situation you need to do some damage control.  Uh oh…did you call anyone?  Did you text anyone?  FUCK!  why do you bring your phone with you when you drink?!  Texts From Last Night is an awesome site that captures those texts that we all know we shouldn’t send.  At the time, they seemed like a great idea.  I definitely suggest you check TextsFromLastNight out regularly.  Maybe it will encourage you to use some discretion with your phone when you are drunk….but…it probably wont.  Here are some samples from today:

well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor…not good

Dude… Hand job in the lake… It was as weird as it sounds.

I don’t know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse… this can not be good

When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

Hello all.  I feel like I need to apologize pretty much every post!  Why?  Because the quantity of my posting has decreased to ridiculous proportions.  I am hoping to turn that around starting today.  The problem is that I have had pretty much a million things going on every single day.  Work has kept me insanely busy, both day and night.  I have just settled into my new place in Toronto and I finally have everything setup properly.  I won’t lie - I have also been spending much time just going out and enjoying my new location!  One of the best parts about being down here is not having to drive.  When I lived just outside the city, I pretty much accepted having to drive to accomplish anything from going out with friends to renting movies.  Now, I accomplish all of that by either walking or by taking public transit.  There is a bus that runs right by my house about every 5 minutes.  It takes about 8 minutes to get to the train station.  From there, I can get anywhere.  On top of that there are also two streetcar lines for me to take.  So many options!  So, I hope to increase my blogging schedule now that I have cleared some things off my plate.  You are my people.  I need you in my life!  Here is a comic that has nothing to do with anything - but it does contain a joke I often use.

Holy crap it has been a whirlwind moving experience.  I am FINALLY all setup in my new home.  As anyone who has moved knows, the process never really ends.  I still have a million little things to buy…IKEA to the rescue!  I promise to get some pics or a video up as soon as possible.  I still have my camera at the other house.  Today is not about doing work though.  This is Canada’s birthday.  This is a day to chill out on the rooftop patio, drink some beers and spend some time with friends.  That is a benefit of having a roommate, you always have a drinking buddy!  I might even have some time to relax with some video games today.  On that note, here is some interesting information about that famous video game character: Mario!

Via: Homeowners Insurance

OK, I’m an ass for not blogging much lately.  The truth - I haven’t really been doing much!  I have been working about 65 hours a week.  Other than that, I am prepping for a move on Monday.  A buddy bought a townhouse in Toronto and I figured I would move in.  It’s an amazing place and the neighborhood is awesome.  I will have moving day pics or maybe even a video coming on Monday or Tuesday.  Thanks for your patience.  To reward you - here is a comic.