We all know I am horrible at actually getting around to showing proof of the things I do.  I have claimed to be involved in a couple of weddings recently.  How do you know I am telling the truth?  Actually, how do you know anything about me?  I could be a middle aged white woman for all you know.  I am not.  Here is proof I actually do the things I say I do.  If you go to THIS SITE you will see some of the proffesional shots of my friends wedding.  This was cool because there was both a Hindu and western ceremony.  These shots turned out amazing.  It’s really cool to see the different outfits that everyone wore, especially the featured couple!  I strongly urge you to check out the Elementz of Fotographie blog and post some comments.  I have selfish reasons for asking you to do this.  The bride and groom get some free prints if you comment.  Take a look at all the shots, especially the ones with me in them, and let them know what you think!  C’mon, I provide you minutes of entertainment each month.  YOU OWE ME!!!  You can play a OneBrownGuy.com version of Where’s Waldo and see if you can find me in the pics.  Try it - fun for the whole family.

So, I was thinking about sex…yeah…you know what?  This really doesn’t need much of a setup.  Here is some fun stuff to know about orgasms.  I learned one major thing here: being a pig would be awesome!

Via: Medical Insurance

I have been debating whether to blog about this or not, considering it is a very personal thing.  I try to keep things light on here and I really do avoid getting serious.  In the end I figure why the hell not!  I recently had an experience that is pretty new.  I had someone from my past get back in my life.  We hung out a little bit and she told me how she never stopped loving me and what she wanted was a life with me.  She said all the right things.  I am not normally a big fan of dating someone I had already dated in the past.  My previous thinking was that we had our time and should just move on.  I had moved on.  I loved her before and I knew what I was giving up when I broke up with her the first time.  Unfortunately I also think the best of people and refuse to make them pay for past mistakes.  It wasn’t that I still loved her, it was that I thought she had good qualities and that I was willing love her all over again.  Boy was I wrong!  After leading me down this path for a week she randomly changed her mind with little explanation.  Now, having dealt with this girl in the past I knew something weird could always just hit me out of the blue.  She just wanted to get me thinking we were together so that she could end it with me.  Playing some form of games with people you just start dating is one thing.  Finding someone who has moved on, telling them you love them, convincing them that you should consider a life with them, lying the whole way through just so you can end it is about the cruelest thing a person can do.  My guess is that she just wanted that power.  Well, my response was pretty calm.  I told her that, for her sake, I hope Karma ignores this incident.  I do not bring up this story as a way to get even.  I have no ill will towards her.  I wish her well in her journey.  This is supposed to be a message of hope.  There are people out there that are just bad people.  No amount of covering up for their actions or ignoring aspects of their personality can change who they are.  Their bad nature is probably slapping you in the face every day.  Life is all about choices.  You are choosing to let them hurt you!  You cannot blame a bad person for having a negative affect on you.  It’s all up to you.  This person had brought negativity to my life many times before, and she managed to keep staying in my life through deceit and taking advantage of my forgiving nature.  I do not regret this.  It is what it is.  It proves only that she was not for me, and the universe gave me the ample proof I needed to never doubt that again.  Maybe you are in a bad relationship and you wonder how your luck is so bad that this is your lot in life.  Take a look again - maybe you should be thankful that the universe is doing everything it can to prove something to you.  You are being shown that this person goes against your very nature.  Everything you need is in front of you.  All the signs are there.  What are you waiting for?  It’s your move.  I know some people who might need this message of hope.  Maybe my honesty can help them to face their choices.

What is next for me?  I continue to hang out with my friends and work towards being a firefighter.  The Month of May is pretty big.  My mom’s bday is tomorrow.  Mothers day is on Sunday.  My birthday is next week.  I turn 32…wow…it looks weird to type it.  I just laughed about a loud fart.  Are 32 year olds supposed to do that?  I have resolved to try something new.  I always meet amazing people when I am out.  It is definitely a passion of mine.  On any drinking night I usually end up with some random friends as the night goes on.  I am now going to expand my reach.  I think I am going to give the online dating thing a go!  I have had many friends with much success in the past and now it might be time for me to give it a shot.  Being such a technology advocate, you’d have thought this would have been my first choice for dating!  Let’s see what the future holds!  Since I hit you with some serious stuff, I owe you a comic!  Here is a funny one about dating from Cyanide & Happiness.

The title says it all.  Men don’t cry unless there is a damn good reason.  There is no question that this chart clearly shows there is only one good reason for a man to cry like a blubbering idiot.  This comes to us courtesy of Maxim.

Sorry for the lack of posting frequency.  Once again, I find myself extremely busy.  Between work and my social schedule I don’t get home until around midnight every night.  Tough life, I know.  This Saturday was an event so amazing that I really felt was something to blog about.  An old friend of mine threw up a party invite on Facebook that caught me off guard.  It turns out this was his going-away party as he is headed from Toronto to Vancouver.  He is part of a group of friends I have from way back in elementary school.  Seriously, I remember being out for recess with this gang!  We somehow stayed close through our teens and even into our 20’s.  We were even groomsmen at one of the guys weddings.  As the years went on, we drifted.  It isn’t like we had a problem with each other - we just seemed to fade.  The phone calls dropped off.  We stopped trying to make plans.  Our own lives just kept us busy.  It’s amazing how life can come around through the strangest of events though.  Late in 2009 we lost one of our friends to an illness.  That was a serious slap to all of us.  Life can happen without any warning.  It’s important to make time.  Last night was just such an opportunity.  A party to celebrate a friend and wish him well in his new adventure!  Walking through the door of the apartment was a shocking experience.  A blast from the past.  Faces that got older but still looked so familiar.  Things got a little emotional as the hugs went around.  I won’t admit that men were crying, that would be a violation of the bro code.  I will say that I noticed some clear, non-alcoholic fluid flowing from some of our eyes.  The best part about the whole night was that we all just picked up right where we left off.  We had a quick little catch up session and then got right back into complaining about our favorite sports teams and making fun of each other.  I couldn’t have designed a more perfect evening.  We all have very different lives and are in very different places.  But once in a while we can have a beer and be exactly the same as when we were young.  We just get to enjoy timeless friendships.  Awesome!

This pic is from about 10 years ago.  George is on the left and is headed to Vancouver.  James is in the red shirt and lives in Brampton.  Big John in back is living in Kitchener with his wife and kid.  Ben is on the right and is no longer with us.  Yours truly is in the middle.  Hopefully I can get some pics from last night and show you all of us in 2010.

I have blogged a lot about the differences between men and women.  Usually I keep the discussion about boobs but every rare once in a while I go a little deeper.  I think women get bad advice when it comes to guys.  The main problem is they usually rely on other women to feed them info.  That’s like the blind leading the blind!  Women can’t tell you how a man thinks.  I read some of the advice given and it makes me cringe.  There is so much subtlety in the way women think and act that we, as men, really have no idea what’s going on.  Women - you operate on some deep levels.  We are impressed.  You have so many layers that it’s amazing you actually want to spend your time with us.  I once actually read a column that suggested a woman ask her man what’s going through his mind when he is gazing dreamily into the distance.  Are you fucking insane!?  Let me tell you what we are thinking: Nothing!  Seriously, we have absolutely nothing going on at this time and we enjoy that.  It’s why we are looking at the wall.  When a woman asks us about our feelings at this time we panic.  CRAP!  What am I supposed to say?  If I tell the truth and admit to thinking about nothing then she won’t believe it and assume I am breaking up with her.  If I come up with something quickly then I wouldn’t have scanned it for any chance it can be related to her weight.  Fuck!  The clock is ticking and she is still waiting for an answer!  Maybe if I jump out off the balcony then it will cause a change in subject.  Hopefully, I proved my point there.  Not all the advice you get about how to deal with men is quality.  If you want to know how a guy would react then just go out and ask a dude.  Although, make sure it is a guy you know.  If you ask some random guy then he will instantly assume you want to have sex with him and he will tell you whatever he thinks is the fastest route to your vagina.  I got the below images from CoolMaterial.  It’s an awesome site geared towards dudes.  These are what women’s magazines would look like if a guy wrote them.  Funny, but very true!

Alright, I know I am extremely late to wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day.  I figure that if you have someone you love then you were probably busy spending time with them, so you really shouldn’t have been checking out my blog.  If you were alone then you probably didn’t want me reminding your lonely ass about the empty life you live.  I spent Valentine’s evening drinking with some friends at a bar downtown Toronto.  Things got a little hazy and I ended up in some persons living room wearing pants that didn’t belong to me.  Weird.  Well, weird for anyone but me.  Sadly, this kind of thing seems to happen fairly often for me!  I spent all of the holiday Monday recovering from the damage I did to my liver.  This week is all about trying to get back into some form of routine.  School is done.  My vacation is over.  It is time to get back to reality.  I recently accepted a job offer with a tech company in Toronto.  I start my job on Monday.  This will be my career until I get on with a fire department in the area.  I am pretty excited about making money again.  I haven’t done that since 2008!  That pretty much gets you up to date on my world.  Here are two Valentine’s Day related funnies that I think you will enjoy.  The first is from FailBlog and features a bunch of wedding proposals that are…well…complete fails!  When asking someone to marry you in front of a large group of people I would think you should make sure beforehand that the answer would be a yes.  After that you get the Valentine’s Day comic from XKCD.  God I love geek humor!  Since I am largely abusive to you, my faithful blog readers, I think today I should be nice.  I actually love you all….except Kevin Gray.  I hate you Kevin.  I hate you with every muscle in my elegant, brown body!

Every dude has dealt with this before.  I can’t even say too much because the comic does it for me.  Just read and enjoy.  Any guy that has been through the same situation, which is probably all of you, will instantly feel it!  This comes to us courtesy of AbstruseGoose.

wow, it really feels strange to write 2010 on the title of this post.  I am sure it will take me a while to get over the habit of ‘09.  My New Years was a relaxing little gathering at a friends place.  That didn’t stop me from knocking back enough beer and bubbly to kill a horse.  At 3am I took a cab to another location and honestly felt like I was traveling through a post-apocalyptic war zone!  Hoards of people were on the street trying desperately to get into the cab.  Twice we had people jump on the hood of the car trying to get the attention of the driver.  We finally avoided all the zombies and I got to my destination.  New Years day was a day of recovery.  I did manage to get in a weight workout and a run.  Well, it was 3/4 of a run.  I walked the last KM because I was out of gas.  The evening was spent with an amazing dinner of butter chicken and naan.  I tried to have a couple pints but threw in the towel after only one.  I am 31 years old dammit.  I need some downtime!  I think the rest of this weekend is going to be very chill.  I am also fairly confident I am coming down with one helluva cold.  I hope everyone out there is enjoying these last few days before we all go back to reality.  Well…not me…I have never been anywhere close to reality.  Here is a comic that, as usual, has nothing to do with anything!

I posted this video before, but I wanted to throw it back up here.  I forgot how awesome it is.  It’s an entire life all done is flashes.  Hopefully you don’t find it too depressing.  Enjoy!