Another weekend, another charity hockey game.  This time I laced ‘em up for Skate For Kids in Toronto.  This was an event I was lucky enough to participate in last year as well - I even blogged about it in this post.  This is a pretty high profile game that features former NHL’ers.  Last year I played defense with Steve Thomas.  It was an interesting experience playing on a line with a guy you grew up watching on TV.  Even though these guys are retired, they can really move if they want to.  This year we played against Tie Domi!  In case you aren’t a hockey fan, Tie Domi was an interesting character in the NHL.  He is one of the all time great fighters.  In 1020 career NHL hockey games he managed to get himself 245 points and 3515 penalty minutes!  He is listed as 5′10″ and 207lbs.  I call bullshit on that.  He is barely 5′8″ on his tippy toes and he definitely tips the scale at over 220lbs.  This is probably the thickest human being I have ever seen in my life.  He is proportioned so solidly that he looks like a cartoon character.  Even though it was just a fun game, I made sure to keep my distance.  My line scored a goal against him at one point in a goal mouth scramble.  We got out of the scrum to see Domi standing right beside us.  We got the hell out of there as fast as we could!  He really was a nice guy, just out for a fun skate.  In case you need a reminder about the type of player Tie is, here is a tribute video.

I know I don’t get serious on this blog too often, but every once in a while something smacks me in the face that I need to let you all know about. This weekend I got invited by a friend to play in a hockey game for an amazing cause. Playing hockey is rewarding enough, add to it an amazing cause and you have everything you need for a perfect day. The charity is Rebecca’s Hope. This Charity raises money for Leukemia research. It is in honor of Rebecca Denise Borg, a brave young woman who lost her battle with Leukemia at the age of 21. Sadly, stories like this are not uncommon. It is time to help lay a pimp-slapping down on Leukemia. I strongly urge everyone to go to the Rebecca’s Hope website and learn how you can either participate in events or donate to the cause. I know there are so many charities out there and it is hard to justify spending money. Just remember that every single dollar you give means something. Give what you can. It’s a fight that is worth fighting!

Things always have a way of balancing out in the universe. When you do bad things, you certainly stack the odds that something bad will happen to you. As hockey is often seen as a “self-policing” game, this karmic retribution happens fairly often. Every once in a while, something happens that is truly blog worthy. Below are three videos. The first is a recently famous one of Matt Cooke of the Pittsburgh Penguins being…well…being this little bitch that he is. He delivers a devastating hit to the head of Boston’s Marc Savard - a guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Marc Savard’s mental status is still unclear and Matt Cooke wasn’t even suspended. It did however force the NHL to look at deliberate head shots to vulnerable players. Let’s fast forward to yesterday. Matt Cooke goes right back to being a bitch as he chases down Evander Kane, an 18 year old rookie, to fight. In the NHL, you really gotta be a punk to fight a kid like that. It is something that certainly doesn’t endear you to your fellow players, not that Cooke cares about anything like that. What did Evander Kane do to deserve this? He played a solid defensive game against Pittsburgh. Nothing dirty. Clean hockey. Yeah, you really should have to fight an experienced 31 year old as an 18 year old bean pole for that! Well, it turns out the universe was paying attention. Good old karma turned Kane’s fists into blocks of cement and Matt Cooke still can’t find where he left his teeth. Enjoy the horrible justice in video number 2. Both vids start a little slow during live action, but you can enjoy some good slow motion isolation cams around the one minute mark. Since we are talking about Karma in hockey, this is a good time to flash back to one of the greatest karmic bitch-slappings ever to take place in the NHL. This involved Steve Sullivan, a fan and a whole lot of awesome!

Matt Cooke being a bitch…

Matt Cooke being bitch-slapped by Evander Kane…

The universe teaching a fan not to fuck with Steve Sullivan…

These pics have been making there way around the interwebs recently.  It isn’t unusual to catch celebrity couples around town.  Sometimes, these shots catch someone wearing a new engagement ring.  It is rare to actually catch the moment when a celebrity couple gets engaged.  That’s exactly what happened recently for NHL hockey player Mike Comrie and superstar Hilary Duff.  We really get to see the three major points of this event.  Let’s run through the play by play…

The Moment:  This is where all preparation and training pay off.  Mike gets down on one knee and asks Hilary Duff to marry him.  Mike is a pro athlete, so he isn’t afraid to get down and dirty (neither is Hilary, as you will soon see).  His old school approach seems to work as Hilary looks pretty excited.

The Brag:  Success!  She definitely said yes.  It certainly helped Mike’s cause that he was able to afford a million dollar ring to put on her finger.  Now this is where Hilary gets into the play.  She has been waiting for this moment for a long time.  Now she has to show off to her crowd of family and friends by taking a pic of the ring and texting it over to everyone.

The Reward:  When Mike scored a big goal in hockey, he had the crowd rise to it’s feet and the coach would give him a pat on the back.  Call me crazy, I think this reward might be a little better.  Hilary proves she isn’t afraid to get down and dirty (told you!) as she rewards Mike for his solid play.  Judging by Mike’s expression, he couldn’t be happier with the result!

Thank god Friday is here!  This has been my first week back in reality and I am desperate for the weekend.  I need to make this clear - I love my new job!  My co-workers are awesome and the work itself is fun.  It has just been tough adjusting to a normal schedule.  I have also been very busy with my social life.  Big problem, I know!  I need some “Mike” time.  A day that I dedicate to relaxing.  Maybe next week.  Tonight I had a hockey game.  Hockey has been a frustrating experience for quite a while.  I was never great at it.  As a younger man, my greatest skill came with my ability to hit people in open ice.  I would consider that a skill as it takes some serious timing.  Before I took a couple of years off, I was the kind of guy who scored goals.  I knew that if I got the puck that there was a good chance it was going in the net.  I was so confident in my abilities.  These days I have crawled into some kind of shell that I just can’t bust out of.  I seem to get more hesitant with each game.  I am so screwed up that my body just freaks out when I am near the puck.  I know I need to just slow things down and take the puck and take my time and look for opportunities.  Knowing and doing and very different things.  Amazing what confidence can do!  I have it in all other aspects of my life.  None on the ice anymore.  I am thinking I should get drunk before my next game.  I am always a little more ballsy when I have had a few.  Let’s see what happens!  Happy Friday everyone.  If you are in Canada then I know what you will be watching tonight  As usual, here is an SMBC comic that has nothing to do with anything.

Congrats to the New Orleans Saints for beating up on the Colts and taking their first Super Bowl!  This is definitely a sports feel good story considering everything that team and city have gone through.  The big game is more than just a sporting event though.  It is a media machine.  A 30 second ad during the game will run you over 2.6 million dollars!  So, your ass better be serious about what you are presenting.  Here is a viewer from Forbes that has a bunch of the ads from last night.  Enjoy!

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I have finally completed one of the most difficult purchases I have ever attempted.  This wasn’t a home purchase.  That was relatively simple compared to what I just went through!  This was the acquisition of a specific hockey jersey.  Yup, that’s it.  One freakin’ hockey jersey!  I joined a hockey team mid-season and had to find a jersey to match the team.  They all bought theirs this past summer, so we aren’t talking about something that was from the 90’s.  The jersey is an RBK Platinum in Orange.  The first step was to just grab the jersey where they bought it from.  I went to Pro Hockey Life and was told they had absolutely no stock in any of their stores.  I was advised to see if their online shop had any.  It didn’t.  I then looked up the jersey on Reebok’s website and called all of their distributors in Southern Ontario.  Nobody had this thing!  Oh, one of the phone numbers was someones personal phone - Reebok has the number wrong on their website.  Oops!  I stopped in at Duke’s in Etobicoke Ontario and asked those guys what I could do.  They contacted their Reebok rep and were told they could ship one out within a week.  I thought my struggle was over.  No such luck.  A jersey arrived the next week…in burgundy.  They contacted the rep and were advised that the orange jersey was on back order and wouldn’t be available until March.  DAMN!!!  I then started scouring eBay and any other online shop.  No stock!!!  I finally stumbled upon Hockey Monkey and I called them up to confirm that they actually had the jersey I was looking for.  The saint of a woman who I dealt with informed me that they were showing no stock but she would go into the back and see if any were around.  She found one last jersey!  I have never been closer to proposing to a woman as I was on that day.  The funny thing came to the pricing.  They jersey was cheap at only $29.  The problem was I then had to pay $20 in shipping costs and an additional $10 when the jersey arrived in Canada as a result of the import tax.  Getting the thing here from California cost me more than the value of the item!  It didn’t matter.  At this point I was willing to pay $100 to get this jersey.  Only moments ago I had the numbers put on the back and I am FINALLY ready to wear my own jersey when I skate with the team. 

Oh, in case you are wondering why I chose #62…it’s in honor of Andrei Nazarov - the Russian bear who had a journeyman career in the NHL as an enforcer.  I always felt he had the talent to score a lot of goals.  His problem was that he spent too much time getting into fights and head butting people.

This is awesome!  I got it from ThePuckDoctors.com.  It is an actual letter sent to a player, Jim Pappin, in 1962.  This is the training camp information letter.  It essentially tells a player the physical expectations the club has of them.  Apparently anybody met the requirements of a professional athlete back in the 60’s.  Golf was a “must” in the training camp.  Golf!  Players these days play golf to relax from training!  These dudes only had to do 20 push ups and 20 sit ups.  Jesus, I was in that shape even when I wasn’t in shape!  Check out the letter, it’s pretty cool.  I wonder what the modern letter looks like.

• Anyone who live in Canada enjoyed a nice holiday weekend.  So, this is sort of like a Sunday night post.  One of the best parts about turkey day is all the leftovers.  I managed to get 4 leftover turkey meals into me today.  I also managed to take 3 naps - which is probably why I am posting this at around midnight.
• This weekend was filled with some interesting times.  I went out for lunch on Saturday and actually ordered the fish.  I usually plan on ordering fish and always make a last minute switch to steak.  As a result of this my penis fell off.  No, it really didn’t.
• I went to a bar I haven’t been to in a long time.  I drank my body weight in beer - which is a place I have been to many times.
• A plan for late night Chinese food was derailed by some crazy drama.  For once, this didn’t involve me in any way.  Note: shawarma makes an excellent backup food plan when the dead-beat father of some random girls baby is at your favourite late night Chinese restaurant and she is driving you around for some reason.  Don’t worry, that isn’t supposed to make sense.  I was there and I still don’t get it.
• Spending quality time in bed was definitely needed after a late night food adventure.  My choice of shows to watch was How I Met Your Mother: Season 4.  Barney get’s even more awesome!  I highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys high levels of awesomeness.  If you don’t like the show…well…you probably suck and I don’t want you reading this blog.  Seriously, stop reading.  I can do nothing for you.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs, with their improved defense corps, can’t seem to play anything that even resembles defense.  It’s a very interesting problem.  Since the opposite result is happening from our efforts then we should just go with that.  They should try to throw a game.  Lay down on the ice and let the other team play.  Sure it’s a bold plan, but it really can’t get any worse!  That seems to be what the guys are doing anyways.  At least this way they can prove an ability to execute a plan for a full 60 minutes.  And there you have it.  My weekend summary.  Since I always try to add value to your visit - here is a cartoon that has nothing to do with anything.

It turns out you can only spit in the eye of fate so many times before you get bitch-slapped back to reality.  My hockey team lost our tournament this weekend, so we do not get to travel to exotic locations to continue our miracle run.  We can take some pride in knowing that we really had no business going this far into the season anyways.  We also lost half our team for this tournament, including two of our top three scorers!  I managed to injure myself further, adding a slightly sprained ankle to my already messed up wrist.  Despite that, it was still a lot of fun.  We ended up getting full value for our season by playing 5 “free” games, getting $350 in bar money and some snazzy pullovers that let the world know we are champions.  We had a 4 hour break between games on Saturday, so we took the opportunity to have a little BBQ at my house.  The funny thing was that we had to air out our equipment and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let the guys stink up my house.  The solution was to stink up the neighborhood by stringing the equipment out in the backyard.  I think we dropped the property values in the area by a solid 15% that day!  Here is one of the shots I took from the deck.