F My Life
I am exhausted this morning! I had my last fire training days at school this weekend. It was fun, but it was also freezing cold and tiring as hell. I also had some stupid problems with sleep last night. I woke up from what seemed like a complete night of sleep. I showered. I changed into some clothes and then I looked at the time. It was 2:40am. I had only slept for about an hour and a half. I usually check the clock before getting up. I have no idea why I didn’t bother on this day. I also have no idea why I bothered getting dressed. I don’t work. I have no classes on Mondays. Where the hell was I planning on going? Oh well. I used the early start to watch a movie and search the interweb. When you are feeling all down and sorry for yourself it always helps to read about people who have it much worse than you. That is the beauty of one of my favorite websites - F My Life. Over at F My Life you get little postings from people who have had situations come up that can only leave them with that “fuck my life” kinda feeling. This is definitely a site you can stop in at regularly and are sure to find something that makes your life seem great in comparison. Below are some samples.
Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I’ve been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It’s my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML
Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend’s mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it’s because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. “I’m humping you like Simon humps me!” Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
Today, I was ecstatic when I got my so-much-waited marriage proposal! I couldn’t wait to show off my new ring. Today was also when I found out that he had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. And yes, it was the same ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I’ve checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML
Tags: f my life, fuck my life, funny websites, stupid stories
