Pigs Attack Toronto, 2nd Animal Takeover In A Month
Fresh off the heels of the March 20th Cow attack on the QEW, the Pigs have followed up with a more devastating attack. Around 8am on Monday morning a group of elite Pig soldiers escaped an unmarked mobile prison transport and took over the 401. The 401 is the busiest highway in Canada and one of the busiest in North America. This confirms that the animal world is stepping up it’s efforts to eradicate humanity. The Cow attack last month caused panic and lost productivity, but no civilians were hurt. This Pig attack was more brutal. The Pigs are said to have caused 4 injuries - 2 serious and 2 minor. The boldness of the animal forces to strike with a 2nd attack so soon proves that we cannot sit by and watch anymore. Our way of life has changed. We must all start eating much more pork, beef and chicken products. We must prepare for attacks on all fronts including air and sea. We have the technology. We have the weapons. We have opposable digits. Now, we must add resolve. We cannot allow nature to win this war. The score is now 2-0. Will we sit quietly without response?
