My busy schedule continues, so I don’t seem to have the time to come up with thoughtful posts.  Wait a minute, I never come up with thoughtful posts.  I write about drinking and the stupid things people do.  OK, so I am pretty much doing what I always do then!  This weekend is a little different as I have an aptitude test for a local fire department on Sunday.  That means no drinking for me on Saturday .  Other than school I have been busy with my social schedule lately.  I know, a real tough problem to have!  I was going through some pictures on Facebook and noticed a couple that were completely awesome!  My buddy Chris made a jack-o-lantern on Halloween.  That’s not what’s awesome.  What’s awesome is that it looks like the fucking Death Star!  Check it out below.  My friend Grant also posted a pretty cool pic.  His was an artistic expression of frustration.  In this particular case, the frustration was with his Blackberry Pearl Flip phone.  Last time he visited Toronto we went out for a drink and he bitched for a solid 5 minutes about his phone.  Finally, a few months later, I guess he had enough.  Check out the awesome results below.  At the very end of this post I always try to give you something random.  This is a video of a bulldog playing a video game!  Seriously, we have probably all seen videos of bulldogs skateboarding - but this guy takes it to new levels!  Since I am going to be lazy this weekend I should be able to post something.  Have a great weekend!

 

*DeathStar-O-Lantern

*Effective anger management
 

Oh, it really sucks to follow up a happy moment with something that is sad.  Unfortunately, that is what has happened to me and I feel a need to share.  As some of you know, I used to have a bulldog named Chubbs with an ex-girlfriend.  The relationship between us didn’t work out and sadly I lost all claim to the dog.  I haven’t posted anything about the guy since because I really have no idea what’s going on with him.  It does make me sad because I loved Chubbs more than anything.  I think about him all the time and it breaks my heart.  At the very least I can take comfort in knowing that he is very well loved and taken care of.  My ex loves him completely and will always provide the best for him.  The sad moment today came when someone contacted me thinking that Chubbs was actually their stolen dog named Chubby.  This person originally posted a comment on a YouTube video of Chubbs.  Then they followed up by emailing me a few times claiming that he is their dog.  After a few ranting emails the person finally sent one last apology email.  They realized that it couldn’t have been their dog.  They got worked up thinking that they finally found Chubby.  They apologized for everything they said.  I wont post the emails on here because they are quite personal and I don’t want to be cruel.  Losing a dog is a heart breaking experience.  I can’t even imagine what having a dog stolen would feel like.  My heart goes out to anyone who has had a dog stolen.  I wish you all the luck in finding your beloved pets.  For the last time - here are some pics of Chubbs.  You can see why losing such a beauty can drive you a little crazy!

I am just bringing the fans more of what they want.  What do they want?  More Chubbs!  Yup, my English Bulldog is more popular than I am.  Better looking too!  A few months ago I posted a video of Chubbs taking on the cat at my parents house.  Today, it was rematch time!  They got into it for quite a while before I finally decided to get the camera out.  This video is much better than the last one.  We actually get some angles of what Chubbs would be seeing.  Man, that cat can fight!  It’s a good thing Chubbs has a cement head.  Check it out!

I prefer to stay positive about most things.  I like to bring you pics about things that entertain you.  Every once in a while life gives me something that I just have to sound off about.  Yesterday my computer situation pissed me off, but it ended up well enough with my new MacBook!  Today I am pissed about something completely unrelated.  As you all know, my girlfriend and I are proud owners of a bulldog named Chubbs.  Chubbs spends most of the time staying at her apartment.  Now, she is allowed to have a dog in her apartment and it has helped us to meet many of the other dog owners in the building.  It is pretty clear that her next door neighbor is not a fan of dogs.  He came stopped in at my girlfriends apartment to tell her that the dog has “caused his life to be hell.”  Oh, it gets better!  Apparently the constant barking keeps his wife awake and doesn’t allow him to study for law school.  Any of you who know a little about dogs is probably already laughing.  The first thing is that bulldogs sleep about 17 hours a day!  This includes him being absolutely passed out and snoring from around 9pm until 8am.  He is usually only awake and active in the late afternoon/evening.  Somehow his wife, who I assume must need to sleep 24 hours a day, cannot sleep.  I also find it funny that this dog prevents him from studying.  Most anyone who is in law school will tell you that your ass should be in the library because you need the reference materials.  I know people who have gone to law school and this is something they told me about.  Besides, how much quiet is he expecting in an apartment building in Toronto?  This isn’t a fucking museum asshole!  Lastly, let’s keep in mind this is an ENGLISH BULLDOG.  These dogs just aren’t big barkers.  It just isn’t in their breed.  He is more likely to fall asleep from the effort of thinking about barking!  I will admit, he does bark.  But, at no point does he ever go into a barking fit that lasts more than 3-4 barks.  So, he might let out a couple of barks a few times during the day.  When someone comes home in the evening because he hears keys in the door.  Also, I am fairly certain he will tell the mailman to fuckoff once a day with a couple of barks.  Again, I have never seen him go into any form of extended barking.  He is just too lazy to make that much noise!  So, to those whiny, bitchy, dramatic, exaggerating fucknuts who live next door to my girlfriend:  FUCK YOU!  At any point in time you could have easily come over if you felt the dog was loud and asked us to keep it down.  You don’t come to the door and explain how your entire existence is ruined by 2 minutes of barking out of 24 hours.  But, I guess this is why we never got a formal letter from building management advising us to keep it down.  Probably because they don’t hear anything!!!  To end this rant, here is yet another picture of this apparent barking machine…

It has been a while since I brought you something about my little monster aka our English Bulldog Chubbs.  The little guy got neutered and had a growth removed from his back and somewhere in the process managed to become not so little!  He is easily over 40lbs now and still has a lot more weight to gain before he is full grown.  His personality is growing just as fast as his body.  He can now cut farts like nobody’s business.  He also manages to snore more loudly than I do!  I caught some video of another one of his little quirks.  He likes to play when he is in the tub.  He smacks at the water as it drops from the faucet and when it goes down the drain.  The tub is now one of his favorite places to be and he keeps trying to get in there to convince us to give him a bath.  At least our dog will never be stinky!

I mentioned earlier this week that my English bulldog, Chubbs, went in for neutering on Wednesday.  While they were at it they also removed a growth from his back and treated him for a bladder infection.  Poor guy had a lot going on!  You wouldn’t have known it watching him play around though.  Anyways, to keep him from chewing on his stitches they put his head in one of those ridiculous looking cones.  I couldn’t resist the urge, I had to take pictures of it and throw them on here.  The really funny thing is that bulldogs aren’t exactly the most flexible of breeds.  There is no way he can reach his stitches even without wearing the cone.  We only make him wear it if nobody is going to be around him…which is almost never.  I think he is more likely to injure himself wearing the cone because he is constantly knocking himself off things trying to get it off his head.  I know how he feels.  Every time I get drunk and wear a lampshade I…wait…perhaps I have said too much.  Here are the pics.

It’s new years eve!  The universal drunk night!  I hope everyone has a fun and safe time tonight.  The girl and I will be headed to a friends place for games and drinks.  As always, if something funny happens then I will try to get it on camera.  As promised, I finally uploaded another video of my bulldog.  This time it was two short clips of Chubbs fighting my parents cat.  As you can see, Chubbs was definitely the aggressor.  Although, I am not sure if he ever actually landed any blows.  The cat on the other hand has easily landed about 50 shots to Chubbs.  I need to have the camera ready to go sooner.  Both of these fights had already gone on much longer by the time I got to filming it.  I really wish I had a camera around when they first fought.  Chubbs backed the cat into a corner and the cat delivered and barrage of about 20 punches.  He then flew over the dog and was gone like a ninja.  Chubbs just sat there looking confused as to how he managed to lose control of the situation.  Funny stuff.  Anyways, here is the video.

OK, I can’t help it.  I have become “that guy.”    I love showing pics and videos of my dog.  Unlike everyone else my dog is awesome!  So, he is definitely blog worthy.  I should probably just change the focus of this blog to be about life with a bulldog.  Hmmm…not a bad idea.  I can create an account for Julie to post things on here as well.  Don’t worry - violence, cartoons and stupid people will always be shown on this site as well.  Oh, and a little finance stuff as well.  Anyways, here is Chubbs eating his first cookie.  It took us a while to give him treats because we wanted him to get used to his food and surroundings.  So when he got this thing it was like heaven on earth.  He worked it over like it was beer.  Don’t worry, in a taste test he still prefers beer.

Another day that I couldn’t trade.  Actually, I might avoid trading today as well.  I have a puppy and a hockey game and a job…oh man!  I turned into an adult overnight!!!  This week has just been particularly crazy.  I would have traded last night but I was meeting friends downtown.  So, instead of making money I spent money.  Tis the season!  We had a nice snow storm last night, so a 30 minute trip from downtown turned into 1.5 hours.  The girlfriend walked the dog this morning and apparently he was jumping all over the snow and trying to eat it.  I will try to get that on camera tonight…assuming there is still snow on the ground.  Since I can’t bring you anything Forex or puppy related I will do the next best thing: talk about flow charts.  This continues my trend about straying as far from topic as possible.  Flow charts can be tricky.  Here is a flow chart that teaches you how to follow flow charts.  Thank XKCD for this one!

Sorry for the late post today!  Last night I didn’t get a chance to trade.  It turns out that our bulldog Chubbs managed to squeeze himself between some gates and got into the living room at my girlfriends apartment.  The little monster decided Christmas is too far away and opened all the gifts.  He also thought our tree looked stupid so he knocked all the decorations off it.  Then, he figured the Internet is dumb and went to work on the modem and router.  Luckily he didn’t do permanent damage to anything.  But, it caused me to spend my evening shoring up our defenses.  A couple slabs of wood has now closed the gaps and he is going to have to respect the gate…for now.  This morning we had to take him to the vet just for a checkup.  He looks to be in perfect health and will be terrorizing Christmas trees and modems for many years to come!  I wish I had a pic of the damage he did, but my girlfriend cleaned it up long before I got there.  Anyways, here is a comic from Explosm to reward your patience.