I have been debating whether to blog about this or not, considering it is a very personal thing.  I try to keep things light on here and I really do avoid getting serious.  In the end I figure why the hell not!  I recently had an experience that is pretty new.  I had someone from my past get back in my life.  We hung out a little bit and she told me how she never stopped loving me and what she wanted was a life with me.  She said all the right things.  I am not normally a big fan of dating someone I had already dated in the past.  My previous thinking was that we had our time and should just move on.  I had moved on.  I loved her before and I knew what I was giving up when I broke up with her the first time.  Unfortunately I also think the best of people and refuse to make them pay for past mistakes.  It wasn’t that I still loved her, it was that I thought she had good qualities and that I was willing love her all over again.  Boy was I wrong!  After leading me down this path for a week she randomly changed her mind with little explanation.  Now, having dealt with this girl in the past I knew something weird could always just hit me out of the blue.  She just wanted to get me thinking we were together so that she could end it with me.  Playing some form of games with people you just start dating is one thing.  Finding someone who has moved on, telling them you love them, convincing them that you should consider a life with them, lying the whole way through just so you can end it is about the cruelest thing a person can do.  My guess is that she just wanted that power.  Well, my response was pretty calm.  I told her that, for her sake, I hope Karma ignores this incident.  I do not bring up this story as a way to get even.  I have no ill will towards her.  I wish her well in her journey.  This is supposed to be a message of hope.  There are people out there that are just bad people.  No amount of covering up for their actions or ignoring aspects of their personality can change who they are.  Their bad nature is probably slapping you in the face every day.  Life is all about choices.  You are choosing to let them hurt you!  You cannot blame a bad person for having a negative affect on you.  It’s all up to you.  This person had brought negativity to my life many times before, and she managed to keep staying in my life through deceit and taking advantage of my forgiving nature.  I do not regret this.  It is what it is.  It proves only that she was not for me, and the universe gave me the ample proof I needed to never doubt that again.  Maybe you are in a bad relationship and you wonder how your luck is so bad that this is your lot in life.  Take a look again - maybe you should be thankful that the universe is doing everything it can to prove something to you.  You are being shown that this person goes against your very nature.  Everything you need is in front of you.  All the signs are there.  What are you waiting for?  It’s your move.  I know some people who might need this message of hope.  Maybe my honesty can help them to face their choices.

What is next for me?  I continue to hang out with my friends and work towards being a firefighter.  The Month of May is pretty big.  My mom’s bday is tomorrow.  Mothers day is on Sunday.  My birthday is next week.  I turn 32…wow…it looks weird to type it.  I just laughed about a loud fart.  Are 32 year olds supposed to do that?  I have resolved to try something new.  I always meet amazing people when I am out.  It is definitely a passion of mine.  On any drinking night I usually end up with some random friends as the night goes on.  I am now going to expand my reach.  I think I am going to give the online dating thing a go!  I have had many friends with much success in the past and now it might be time for me to give it a shot.  Being such a technology advocate, you’d have thought this would have been my first choice for dating!  Let’s see what the future holds!  Since I hit you with some serious stuff, I owe you a comic!  Here is a funny one about dating from Cyanide & Happiness.

Every dude has dealt with this before.  I can’t even say too much because the comic does it for me.  Just read and enjoy.  Any guy that has been through the same situation, which is probably all of you, will instantly feel it!  This comes to us courtesy of AbstruseGoose.

Anytime I need anything I turn to Craigslist.  An awesome site where you can find pretty much anything from an apartment to a job.  Hell, you can even find dates and hookers!  Today I clicked on the “missed connections” link and was amazingly shocked at what I found.  This section is a combination of sad and awesome.  Sad because it is about all those little moments between two people that never develop.  What could have happened if maybe one person said something?  Maybe it could have lead to something great.  Even though this whole section can be a little depressing, I also find it a bit poetic and romantic.  Here are a couple of the posts I enjoyed:

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Me – Monochrome. All black, skin-tight jeans and t-shirt. Long, straight black hair and pale skin. Dark, dark eyes like oil.
You – Medium build, regular height, Caucasian, brown eyes, brown hair. You were wearing jeans and a black pea coat.
I caught a glimpse of your big brown eyes. You looked like you could use me.

Stop being so damn cute.
with your glasses,
mouth habit
and blue jean jacket.
Hey, I know nothing will/can ever come out of this,
But I’ve noticed the way you look at me…
Stare at me for a reaction…
You should stop that - people notice.
I secretly have the hots for you - and you won’t ever know

In every glance there you were, smirking something fierce. You must know I’m crushing.
I don’t really know who you are, but I want to hold the glimmer from your eyes in my day dreams in hopes that they can float off into forever, secretly embraced and openly reveled in.
You’re going to be my unspoiled joy for as long as I can have you.
Thanks, cute stuff!

This weird unspoken situation between us has been carrying on for some time now.
It has been weeks since the last time I saw you and I still can’t get you out of my head.
I think about you every day and I’m not even sure if you know my name.
I’m lame and you probably think you’re too old for me or something.
I still think you’re awesome and I hope we meet someday under different circumstances.
I want to make you feel amazing.

Ah, that magical line that someone usually throws out when a relationship is done.  A lot of people have different theories on the subject.  Many people can downshift into friends immediately.  Others have no desire at all to be friends.  Here is a funny twist on the subject.  I am sorry for my lack of posting this week.  I have been very busy.  I picked up a new Blackberry Tour and have been busy tinkering.  I think I finally have things setup exactly how I like.  The speed difference when browsing the web compared to my old pearl is incredible!  It should make for easier posting when I am on the go.  I will probably post all about it some other time.  Enjoy the comic!

XKCD comes through again to clarify something that is commonly referenced.  The base system has been varying interpretations.  Some say first base is kissing.  Some say first base is a hand job.  There is too big a difference there, and not having a solid definition can cause serious confusion for all.  Thanks to XKCD we now have the complete definition.

I always wondered why there is such a stigma about Internet dating.  The Internet is the most prominent form of communication for everyone.  Yet, if we meet someone online we prefer to lie about how we met them.  Somehow it is more socially acceptable to say you met when you were wasted at a bar.  Weird.  Now, I actually did meet my girlfriend at a bar.  BUT, if I met her online I wouldn’t have a problem saying so.  Think about it.  If you meet online at least you get to see some pictures and talk to the person first.  When I went on my first date with my girlfriend I couldn’t even remember what she looked like!  I was pretty hammered when we talked at the bar so she could have been ugly!  Lucky for me she was gorgeous and things worked out.  Since you can never trust what people say, you need a chart to decipher what they really mean.  Below is a chart/comic that clears everything up.  So, according to this, I met my girl through friends.  How did you meet your significant other?