Recently, friends of mine just had their first kid. I am pretty pumped about this one because it is the first in our core group of friends to have a baby…that we are aware of at least. At times like this, what can you possibly say? I can barely take care of myself. What advice can I offer them? It turns out that I do have something of value. Here is how NOT to handle a baby.
This is weird. I swear I posted this yesterday! When I looked at my blog I realized the last post was still from the previous day. I checked my draft posts and found only half of this post was saved. Either I dreamt adding pictures and posting this, or I was drunk. Wait, maybe I am still drunk! Oh well. Those Facebook fails reminded me that it is about time to post some more classic fails. I always get my fails from FailBlog. You can check that site out every day and always be amazed. Such good stuff. Here is a few that go along with a specific theme. Let’s see if you can figure out what that theme is.
*Not very tough to guess the theme, right? Here is a bonus FAIL for you:
I love flow charts. They replace the need for words. So, I don’t really need to set this up too much. This is a great flow chart courtesy of Maxim. They have broken down the common paths of arguments between men and women. These are great to study in preparation for an argument with your significant other. Or, print it out in a small font and keep it as a pocket guide for when an argument happens on the fly. This way you can call your plays with some hope for success.
Anyone who has been around this blog long enough knows that I enjoy making fun of religion. There was this post…and this one…and also this one! It is not that I am knocking people with faith, I just find it funny how people get so pissed off about it. Seriously, pretty much every religion teaches peace and we have used this as justification to kick the shit out of anyone who has a different version of this peaceful message. I find that irony pretty funny. And, to be fair, I will make fun of every religion…especially my own! That’s why I enjoy anything to do with Jesus being less than “bible-esque.” In spirit of that I have two things to bring you. One is the newest book I have decided to read. It is called “Lamb” and it is by some guy named Christopher Moore. Apparently this guy has built quite a library of books taking a funny/sarcastic look at things. In Lamb he delves into Jesus: the missing years. These are stories told by Christ’s best buddy growing up named Biff. I just cracked into it and so far I can tell you that it reads very well. It is a pretty cool style of humor, funny because of the topic but not so obvious otherwise. I would have probably finished the thing if not for the fact I have 5 final exams this week. It’s a good thing that I piss excellence! Back to Jesus. Here is the pic of the book. Now you know what it looks like so you can go buy it or rent it or borrow it or download it or whatever the hell you do to read things. And, just for fun, I threw in a comic on this topic from SMBC.
Sometimes, even I need some motivation. I have been busy dealing with tests and projects and midterms and working out and…jesus I am a busy man! Most of the time, the drive to achieve my goals keeps me going and gets me through the day. Every once in a while, I too need motivation. I understand that when the average person needs motivation they look to someone awesome…like me! Since no person alive is quite as awesome, I have to find other means of motivation. I look to posters. Now, I have posted these before but I caught myself laughing at my own archives and decided that you might too. Enjoy!
Good old XKCD. They can save a rather boring day without even trying. I probably wont be trading today, unless I see something near the end of the normal market day. There are a lot of news announcements and that scares the shit out of me. I thought about trading last night but the Euro broke through one of my lower barriers and I wasn’t sure if I was trying to get sucked into a bad trade, so I walked away. Anyways, I am lucky enough to spend my day running out to grab books for school and dealing with a crack in my windshield. I might take a before pic and then another shot after it is repaired to let you all know how it went. Oh yeah, back to XKCD. If you haven’t heard, Windows 7 will be the next major OS from Microsoft. The idea is that this thing is going to be a massive “SORRY” for us having to deal with Vista. Although I don’t hate Vista, I don’t like it either. It assumes you are a fucking retard and tries to ask you 42 times if you want to do something as simple as sharing folders on a network. I also have to download the equivalent of a couple of movies every week in order to keep the damn thing up to date with patches and security fixes. So, I try to use either Windows XP, any MAC OS or Ubuntu. I just don’t want to have to deal with my computer asking me 400 questions when all I want to do is go online to write a simple blog post. It’s like Microsoft went with an entire OS based on that annoying Microsoft Word paperclip guy. Little fucker always questions what you are doing. So, XKCD has a comic based on what it sees Windows 7 offering. I think it is a definite improvement.
As I suspected, I had no trade last night. I was playing hockey and didn’t have time. We are getting dangerously close to Christmas and new years. I don’t like trading around this time of year. I might look at things tonight, hopefully I can spot something for a quick profit. Anyways, about my hockey game. We won, but it definitely sucked ass. We have some people who seem to think that recreational hockey is equivalent to the NHL. They think that you need to antagonize the other team to throw them off their game. Idiocy. The game ended with about a minute to go because a brawl broke out. Yours truly wasn’t a part of the nonsense. Pay me $15,000 per game and I will fight anybody. I sure as hell wont fight in a league that I pay to play in. The win came on the strength of my new hero: my buddy Ree. He injured his knee and had to leave the game for a short while. He came back to score 4 goals, including 2 in one shift to ice the game for us. I posted about this guy a while back when he was being a little bitch and used the electric cart to move around when he injured himself. Since I called him out for being a pussy back then, I need to commend him on here now. Here are two shots of Ree. There is the classic pose, him with two beers because he is just too awesome to have only one. And, him playing Guitar Hero. I would like to have a shot of him playing hockey - but he moves too damn fast! Congrats on your 4 goals Ree! As promised, this is the blog post about you. I have now completed any obligations I have to you as a friend.
Watching people fall is always funny. But, when the person falling has a sense of grace and composure, it just makes it hilarious. After all, a fall from grace requires that you are up on top of the world at some point. All these models make a ton of money, have great lifestyles and weren’t seriously hurt. So, it is OK to laugh at their stupidity!
That is a pretty descriptive title. I…I don’t even know what to say. Just watch the whole thing. It goes from being kinda funny/cute to fucking hilarious!
You gotta love a good montage! Here we have the top 10 on camera angry meltdowns by anchors and reporters. Most of these people seem so composed most of the time that they could pass for robots. but, it appears they are human. And, bad humans at that! Enjoy.
